One Of Those Days

I have been pretty good with all of this cancer stuff.  Pretty positive. 

But this morning I was tired and knew I had to swim and run.  The first triathlon is not too far off, and it was time to step up training.  There was a time where I thought it was all too much.  That it is really a fool's errand thinking that I will be healthy enough to show up at the starting line, let alone finish.  So I did delay a bit.  Then stopped thinking like that and signed up for two more sprint triathlons.

Even if I do go back on chemo, I will do my best to find a way to train and make those two triathlons - which would bring the total to three - by the beginning of June. 

Someone in the pool today mentioned that I was looking like I was drowning.  And yes, to one side it is a bit more for me to warm up.  We were working a bit,  great tips.  But they mentioned they thought there is no way I would be ready for the first triathlon.  I told them if I make the starting line, that would be a victory and explained my condition.  Inoperable cancer and just a matter of when chemo comes back and I am doing everything to avoid.  Got the reaction that is pretty much universal when I tell people (I keep it quiet), jaw pretty much hit the floor, then a smile and even more help because that changes everything. 😀

#iTri4ACure

“What are you in for?”

That phrase kept on rolling around in my head.  I was scared I was periodically mouthing the phrase so people would clearly see what I was thinking.  Or, worse, actually saying it out loud.

The room was crowded, but quiet.  There was just an occasional brief sound of a conversation.  Each person had the same look.  Neither race, gender nor religion made a difference.  I could see pretty much every type of person as I looked around.  We were all one and the same – in for the same thing and all waiting for the sentence.

But I kept to myself.   I never did ask anyone  “What are you in for?”  I already knew the answer.

Three years ago today.